Is Positivity Powerful or Pollyanna: with Sam Kennelly
If you’ve ever wondered whether your optimism is a superpower or something others dismiss as naive, this episode will reframe everything. Gallup-certified coach Samantha Cannelli joins Sarah and Bill to explore the CliftonStrengths theme of Positivity—not just as cheerfulness, but as an energy source, an influence strategy, and a form of quiet resilience.
Together, they explore how positivity operates in real life and real work—from leadership and team coaching to parenting, grief, and self-regulation. Whether you have high Positivity, work with someone who does, or just want to stop being drained by negativity, this episode offers powerful insights on how to protect your energy, hold space for others, and lead with hope without sugarcoating reality.
Main Takeaways
Positivity isn’t just about being cheerful—it’s a strength rooted in hope, resilience, and energy.
Without boundaries, high Positivity can become a people-pleasing trap that leads to burnout.
Positivity and empathy together can create deep connection—but can also make it hard to separate others’ feelings from your own.
Influence doesn’t have to be loud or direct—relational strengths can be powerful drivers of impact.
Self-awareness is essential for using Positivity maturely, especially in emotionally charged situations.
It’s okay to set limits around draining people or environments—Positivity needs recharging too.
You don’t have to fix everything—sometimes, Positivity’s greatest power is simply holding space.
Sound Bites
“Positivity isn’t blind cheerfulness—it’s hope that survives the hard stuff.”
“Sometimes the best use of Positivity is silence and presence.”
“I’m not here to sugarcoat—but I am here to help you see what’s possible.”
“People with Positivity light up rooms—but they can also crash hard when no one’s watching.”
“You can’t be the sunshine for everyone every day—especially if it’s sucking you dry.”
“I used to think I had to hide my Positivity to be taken seriously in the workplace.”
“Woo and Positivity together? It’s like emotional confetti—fun, but it needs a cleanup plan.”
“Sometimes your greatest strength needs to ride in the backseat, not drive the car.”
“I can be a riot at a funeral… because I don’t always know how to let people sit in sadness.”
“I had to ask myself—am I being authentic, or just uncomfortable with conflict?”
“Being a coach doesn’t mean you push all the time—sometimes, you sit, celebrate, or listen.”
“You’re not the anti-venom to negativity—you’re a person with limits too.”
“Positivity wants to fix—but empathy reminds you to first feel.”
“Your strengths are only as helpful as your ability to regulate them.”
“It’s okay to say, ‘I’m not okay today’—even if you usually bring the sunshine.”
Bill's Top 10 CliftonStrengths
1) Individualization
2) Developer
3) Activator
4) Woo
5) Restorative
6) Empathy
7) Harmony
8) Connectedness
9) Relator
10) Learner
Sarah's Top 10 CliftonStrengths
1) Positivity
2) Woo
3) Communication
4) Harmony
5) Activator
6) Developer
7) Input
8) Individualization
9) Responsibility
10) Arranger
Official Strengths On Fire Website: https://strengthsonfire.transistor.fm
GET MORE FROM BILL AND SARAH:
Bill's info:
https://billdippel.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/williamdippel/
https://www.instagram.com/billdippelcoach/
Sarah's info:
https://www.wearecollinsco.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahcoachcollins/
https://www.instagram.com/sarahcoachcollins/
Transcript
Sarah Collins (00:01.858)
Mr. Problems today.
Bill Dippel (00:04.558)
so many problems today. I don't know. Can our listeners know I just had a internet service provider technician guy in my in my podcast studio, like right here minutes ago, right? Everyone's
Samantha (00:04.683)
you
Samantha (00:14.357)
you
Sarah Collins (00:14.961)
Yeah, in your space, there was a fluorescent vest in the camera lens. I really wish that it was recorded because it was hilarious. Like if this episode sees the light of day, it will be a near act of God or a near active spectrum.
Samantha (00:18.154)
Yeah.
Bill Dippel (00:28.718)
I just heard that every single person within the six miles of my house does not have internet. And yet here we are. So I don't know what magic it is. The spectrum god asked me, are you using something else like Wi-Fi across a cell net? I was like, no, not me.
Sarah Collins (00:39.069)
And yet here we are.
Sarah Collins (00:43.891)
Positivity magic! Maybe-
Sarah Collins (00:52.773)
No, but you're welcome to sponsor this podcast, Spectrum. Come on in, water's warm. There you go. They're working it. Now let me ask you a question, Mr. Bill Dippel, since you're vibing high and solving problems today.
Bill Dippel (00:56.878)
Spectrum, Spectrum outstanding service showed up right in the middle of a podcast got us moving.
Bill Dippel (01:06.552)
I'm solving everything today. Let's you know what? Hit me with my restorative. I'm ready. Hit me.
Sarah Collins (01:13.479)
If you had to switch strengths with someone for a day, who would it be and why?
Samantha (01:13.739)
you
Bill Dippel (01:17.782)
Ooh, ooh. So my first blush right out of the gate would be I wouldn't mind swapping in with my wife. And the reason is I'd like to understand them better. you know, this morning she's going to laugh when she hears this. You know, she woke me up at 5 45 the other day to fix the Internet because she had to print. And then this morning while I was brushing my teeth, she asked me five or six things and I'm like,
Sarah Collins (01:28.615)
Yeah
Bill Dippel (01:46.454)
No, you know what that was. That's something different. She asked me five or six things and I was like, hmm, you know, while I was brushing my teeth, I'm like, I can't answer, right? Nothing's going on. then, you know, just there's, she's always go-go strategizing, moving, getting it going. And I truly appreciate that she brings that and it works really well. I just don't always understand it. So I tend to get, I can get quick and quippy with it.
Samantha (01:49.004)
You
Sarah Collins (02:15.282)
Mm-hmm.
Bill Dippel (02:15.826)
And so it would be really cool to just live in those shoes for a little while and and be able to see what it looks like from her end. Because I think that would that would give me some color around when it happens and how it happens and how we do it. I think that one would be pretty phenomenal. I another one that I think would be pretty awesome is we've had some great guests with high self-assurance and command, and they're pretty low for me. I mean, not
Sarah Collins (02:42.579)
Yeah.
Bill Dippel (02:45.57)
bottom of the basement, but they're pretty bad. That would be a fun world to step into for a little bit. I'd like to feel that, hey, I'm absolutely positive what we're doing and where we're going and how that works. And I guess my last comment on this is I would mind some context at some point in my life. It's number 34. And when it comes to the past, I'm lucky to remember there was a service technician here an hour ago. So...
Sarah Collins (03:05.265)
Mmm. Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (03:11.689)
Hahaha
Bill Dippel (03:12.91)
You know, I don't always think of it that way. Yeah, how about you? Where would you go with that?
Sarah Collins (03:16.753)
Yeah, Well, really similar to what you said, I would switch with my husband, Corey, because he has command and self-assurance. So kind of combining both your answers for mine and, know, I am all harmony and positivity and communication, and he's analytical, strategic, command competition. And I'm like, what is that like? What? You can walk in a room and just sort of be like, this is the way it is. Let's go.
Bill Dippel (03:25.358)
Mmm. Wow.
Sarah Collins (03:45.255)
You can just sit and think and analyze. Like that's so opposite of me. We share none in our top 10. And so I think it would be fascinating to step into someone super different than me like that. Now I have Deliberative 34. I have, but I have zero interest in stepping into anyone's shoes with Deliberative. That feels too slow for me. Like leading with Activator. I don't want to be in those shoes.
Bill Dippel (03:58.433)
Yeah.
Bill Dippel (04:07.522)
Ha
Sarah Collins (04:10.706)
but the sort of influencing strategic thinking that he embodies. I'm like, yeah, what would that be like? I feel like it would be exciting. And like, what kind of trouble could I get into?
Bill Dippel (04:21.011)
See, I'm with you on that. Deliberative is 25 for me. I don't don't want it. It's not that I don't appreciate it when I meet deliberative people and they're really good at I will get there. I need to space. I need to do this as a high activator that I am. Sometimes I'm ready. Ready. Fire aim. Right. And it would be nice to have thought that out a little bit before I jumped into that. I just replaced a bunch of parts on my motorcycle. I put a new.
Sarah Collins (04:28.285)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (04:38.045)
Right.
Bill Dippel (04:46.611)
headlight on it. I went to LED because it's a 20 year old motorcycle. So I put new lighting and stuff on it only because I burned out the headlight. Right. I could have just put a bulb on it. But instead, it took me three or four days of cutting metal and custom fabricating brackets and putting this new assembly on. And I loved every minute of it. But if I'd been deliberative, I would have just bought a bulb. Right. I could have been riding for five days instead of building on it.
Sarah Collins (04:56.423)
Mmm.
Sarah Collins (05:11.304)
Mmm.
Bill Dippel (05:14.923)
Now it's better, it throws more light. I mean, there's so many cool things about it now that I actually am really proud of all the work I did on it. But if I had deliberated of it, I might have thought about, hey, I'm going to do that work over this time, right? Or scheduled in a better or different way. So, yeah.
Sarah Collins (05:27.847)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (05:31.602)
I had no idea you had a motorcycle and I cannot stop imagining you in leather now.
Bill Dippel (05:36.651)
Hmm. I'm gonna I'm gonna really you're gonna hate this one. I do have leather chaps that I wear over my jeans I do because when you put them over jeans, they just stop all that, you know, they're great that way and yeah, I Know I hear you. So yeah, and I do have a leather jacket. I wear every time I'm every time I'm
Sarah Collins (05:41.52)
God.
Sarah Collins (05:48.966)
I don't know because I don't ride motorcycles.
Sarah Collins (05:54.969)
Wow, we're going to need a pick of that. please vote if you would like a pick of Mr. Bill Dippel in his leather attire for motorcycling.
Bill Dippel (05:59.192)
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Bill Dippel (06:04.173)
It's just a black leather jacket. doesn't you know, there's nothing special other than it's got steel in certain parts of it It's just yeah I've been riding it a lot lately because I just upgraded it and lot walking into places It's a hundred and you know hundred and three in Reno and I'm walking into stores Unzipping a leather jacket and you can see it runs like yeah, he's on a bike Yes, clearly. I don't yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, don't every time the leather is near my skin. I can't yeah
Sarah Collins (06:15.6)
Of course.
Sarah Collins (06:23.928)
Just your chest hair underneath because you didn't wear a shirt underneath of it because it was so hot. Get that skin on leather.
Sarah Collins (06:34.022)
I'm curious, our guest, Sam Cannelli, do you ride motorcycles?
Bill Dippel (06:38.177)
Sam, are you a motorcycle enthusiast? What is this?
Samantha (06:41.036)
I don't ride them, but positivity would say you do you. I support that for you.
Bill Dippel (06:46.509)
Mmm.
Sarah Collins (06:46.61)
That's right.
Bill Dippel (06:50.285)
Fair, fair. Sam, I love having you today on the show. I've heard you are in Wisconsin, is that right?
Sarah Collins (06:51.186)
I love that.
Samantha (06:59.51)
Yeah, in Wisconsin today.
Bill Dippel (07:01.163)
and you're overlooking a lake at a family home and you're just you're ready. You are here to talk about positivity and whether it's a good or a hard trait. Right. We.
Samantha (07:02.922)
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Samantha (07:09.696)
Yeah.
Samantha (07:13.324)
And you know what? A little bit of both, right? A little light, a little dark. Yeah. And that's it.
Sarah Collins (07:16.294)
Yeah, conversation done. Let's make sure we wrap this episode quick.
Bill Dippel (07:16.635)
Hahaha
Right Well, I brought it I brought up where you're at and because I just met you this morning on the podcast and your positivity was on fire Right, right when you jumped in so I am excited to hear your take on the positivity That you bring and where it's where it comes in It's 13 for me. So It's 13 for me, so it's not something I don't have but it
It is, it's fun when people see it as their number one, Sarah. So.
Sarah Collins (07:53.359)
I know I come in with positivity at number one. So as if I'm not already a loud voice in these conversations, I will be a loud voice today in this conversation as I lead with positivity number one. before we really get into the debate question here on the great strengths debate, Sam, for the audience, for Bill, for the people who don't know you, give us a little bit of your background. Tell us a little about about the coaching you do, where you do it, what that looks like, and then drop your top 10 so the audience knows what you're coming at us with.
Samantha (08:22.942)
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm just so excited and happy to be here today. So I appreciate you both bringing me on. And it's interesting when I think about, you know, my journey or I think about positivity, it is a mix with empathy. And I mentioned that because I think about really my coaching began on the playground. I was that kid in middle school that my mom would say if another kid got hurt or maybe was being picked on, I would be the one to start crying.
or like stand up for them or like try to like bring them in. And the only time that I was put on the wall or kind of like the detention, I guess, of middle school playgrounds is when I would do that, you know, try to stand up for those kids. so positivity, I think has really guided me as a coach. I'm that person that people come to for encouragement, celebration, you know, where do we see the hope and the light and what can come from this?
Sarah Collins (08:51.848)
Samantha (09:22.092)
brought me to psychology as an undergrad major and thinking about, okay, what do you do with that? Which then brought me to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln where I met Sarah in grad school. I know a lot of our time together.
Sarah Collins (09:27.121)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (09:32.656)
I wore red and white today in honor of our alma mater.
Bill Dippel (09:36.045)
catering to that's so difficult. my gosh, Sarah, that's great. That is awesome. Hey, by the way, stay right there. Three, two, one, edit out. Hold on. My camera keeps clipping because my cat is playing with the frickin cable. So not only do I got to worry about the frickin Internet guy, but my cat is playing with a cable. Just saying. So.
Samantha (09:45.556)
I love it. Yeah.
Sarah Collins (10:02.802)
I'm kick them out.
Samantha (10:05.228)
That's great.
Bill Dippel (10:05.772)
talk about having a psychology degree with positivity for 30 seconds. I'll be right back and we'll come out in on an edit. I'm gonna get the cats out of here because the only way to do it is with treats. I'll be right back.
Samantha (10:18.444)
That's perfect. Um, I really think about what's interesting is then it brought me to, this is so perfect. Um, well, it really brought me to coaching. I mean, actually. going to, um, Nebraska and getting your masters in student affairs, understanding that with my strengths, positivity, I have high maximizer understanding, like there's even an opportunity to be a coach. Um, which it wasn't until I, I went to Nebraska and
took the strengths assessment in grad school and understanding that how I help people is really through this coach mentality. What is here? What is present? What is good or what do you want to build on? Move from good to great. And so it kind of then opened this whole new world of now with coaching, whether it's individuals, teams or workshops, it's helping people see what can they do with their current.
situation.
Sarah Collins (11:20.294)
Yeah. And you and I met in grad school, obviously I'm talking about the red and white for the university of Nebraska Huskers. And we also both worked in the college of business where you had the opportunity to work for the strengths Institute, which I think people in strengths world are so fascinated by this. Do you want to tell everyone a little bit about that job and then what you're doing now?
Samantha (11:43.532)
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. It was, um, talk about polyamory or positivity. Um, I'm 22. You know, you think you know everything. Uh, Mark Pogue, who is, um, no longer with us, but one of my greatest mentors and inspiration, you know, high activator talking about high comm, you know, um, came in with just, he always like run around the building. Um, so his presence coming in with the Clifton strengths Institute, he came and spoke at one of our.
Sarah Collins (11:53.308)
Yeah?
Sarah Collins (12:06.94)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (12:12.2)
sessions and I walked right up to him and I said, I just took strengths. I love it. I believe in it. Very positivity-esque. Let's focus on what we're good at. And I said, I want to, I want to work for this program. And this program we started, we would say in the Harry Potter room. had a room, a closet under the stairs. We had to add desks. We had one plant. And I mean, and then we were able to build it that now it's impacted over, gosh.
Sarah Collins (12:20.359)
Yup.
Sarah Collins (12:31.164)
Uh-huh.
Samantha (12:41.1)
6,000 students. It's actually the 10 year anniversary of the program. I'm going back to the conference and just to think that it really started with, I think, Mark's fire and passion. I think the support of the community, the students. And I left the program four years ago. I kind of, I would describe it as like Mary Poppins. I was like,
Sarah Collins (12:45.144)
Wow, no way.
Bill Dippel (12:47.244)
Wow, wow.
Samantha (13:08.83)
I feel complete. Like the program is so strong. It continues to grow and evolve. And I was like, I'm kind of ready for my next thing. So I am now a full-time coach and consultant. I work with Wild Leadership. We are a boutique leadership company, a collective, and working with individuals, teams, all backgrounds, helping them, you know, what's their unique greatness and, you know, how to leverage that. So.
Sarah Collins (13:16.552)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (13:36.124)
Wow, I just love that story. I think it's so powerful. You can hear your positivity sort of ooze out of you. So can you drop your top 10 so people know what else is influencing that positivity?
Samantha (13:47.014)
Yeah, yeah. So my top 10. So I took this, I thinking about this. I took this assessment in 2014 and people always ask, like, are you going to take it again? And it's like, this is me. This is my identity. So harmony number one, input, responsibility, maximizer, positivity, arranger, learner, belief.
Sarah Collins (13:55.592)
Samantha (14:16.288)
will and empathy.
Bill Dippel (14:20.363)
Wow.
Sarah Collins (14:20.562)
So we've got three relationship building themes, three executing themes, two strategic thinking and two influencing.
Bill Dippel (14:28.811)
about as well rounded as you can get in that for each of the domains, right?
Samantha (14:33.1)
Which is we know we focus so much in strengths of not being well-rounded, right? But like be a pointy star and build a well-rounded team. But I've always found that fascinating that I have kind of sprinkled throughout their domains.
Bill Dippel (14:37.653)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (14:37.788)
Right.
Sarah Collins (14:48.028)
Yeah, do you have a domain that you claim as your dominant?
Samantha (14:53.196)
No, naturally, I would say I lean on relationship building. But I mean, it's always interesting, right? We learn more in relation with others. So I would be curious with those who know me or who work with me what they would say. think, I mean, I think it's very strong relationship building, but I think there's a lot of influencing. Just as we know, it takes a different form than maybe your typical influencing strengths.
Sarah Collins (14:57.704)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (15:15.762)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (15:21.446)
Yeah, sometimes I also lead with relationship building, influencing, and I will sort of just say like, I'm a people person. Like, I feel like that sometimes encapsulates it, whether it's influencing them or building relationships with them, like I'm doing things through a people lens. So I wonder if that resonates with you too, since that is like the heaviest portion is like the people-y side.
Samantha (15:29.772)
Yeah.
Samantha (15:39.638)
Yes.
Samantha (15:43.468)
Exactly. I always say it's like, well, and we all know as coaches, we can, I believe that as people, can get to the same outcome. But yes, my first focus or filter is with and through people. How is this going to impact the people, you know, whether it's in our families or our friends or the people that we're working with. I always come from like, how is this going to feel to then know, okay, what then, what do we have to navigate? How do we communicate? Right.
Sarah Collins (15:55.606)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (16:05.852)
Yeah.
Samantha (16:11.2)
My harmony is like, who do we need to bring in and have discussions with? And as we know, can also be a block or a barrier. Because there's almost so much of like, we need to hear from everybody that it can stop us from maybe getting to the outcome or maybe wanting everyone to feel involved. And that's not always the quickest way to action or where we're trying to Yeah.
Sarah Collins (16:20.264)
Mmm.
Bill Dippel (16:37.493)
Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah Collins (16:38.888)
And I would say our great debate question today is, is positivity powerful or Pollyanna? And so I'm curious of your take on this, even with what you're saying, because I think sometimes, and I have positivity, number one. So sometimes it can be like, this is all okay. Like everything is great. Don't worry. Like we'll find it, right? It can kind of push for that almost maybe unrealistic what some people would see.
because it's a people thing, like we will get it that that could potentially lead to some barriers or some roadblocks as well. Do you find that or how do you see your positivity show up?
Samantha (17:20.17)
Yeah, that's a great question. think, I mean, when I was reflecting on this topic, I think it's both and. I think there's, I think sometimes with positivity and harmony, it can feel easier, right? Or more comfortable, or like how to navigate the discomfort by just saying like, it's okay. Like I don't really want to get in that, you the gray area or the messy middle. And as I've older, I think there's a lot around, you know, self-awareness of
Sarah Collins (17:34.545)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (17:43.261)
Hmm?
Samantha (17:49.706)
I have high belief too. And so that high belief of like trying to filter through what's really important. Like what's really important for me to put my thought and energy into. What's the outcome we're trying to get to? Who and how will this impact other people? And really leaning on strong partnerships. know, like having those people that can kind of help check in the best way, my positivity and harmony. I'll ask. Like I am really consumed about
Sarah Collins (18:09.736)
Yeah.
Samantha (18:18.666)
I want to make sure that this, I don't know, this friend or this client I'm working with, that I'm considering them in the best way. But at what point am I putting in too much thought into that, that's actually getting in the way of me doing my job or being authentic. So I feel like I rely on a lot of other mentors and coaches.
Sarah Collins (18:34.119)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (18:40.274)
I'm curious because I, this is an experience I have. I'm curious if you have it. So I feel like I am a natural cheerleader. I come at everyone wanting to see the best in them. I also have high individualization. So I'm constantly pointing things out about people and being like, that is awesome. This is great. And sometimes, especially we do this podcast, we talk to a lot of coaches and I will hear some coaches, they'll say, I'm not going to be your cheerleader. I'm going to push you. And then I get like insecure of like,
Samantha (19:07.328)
Hmm.
Sarah Collins (19:09.736)
Oh my God, am I a bad coach? Like, you know, like, does that ever happen to you? are you, is that what you're sort of trying to like work against there of like, okay, I want to be the cheerleader, but I also have to push them like in finding the balance.
Samantha (19:23.948)
Yes, that's such a great question. I remember when I first started coaching people, again, when we started the CliftonStrengths Institute, I was 23, 24. And there were times where I'm coaching faculty and staff or individuals in the community. And so maybe what you're saying, if it's like this concept of kind of like imposter syndrome or like, who am I to coach some, you know, maybe a little bit of that harmony positivity. And I don't know when it clicked a little bit further.
Sarah Collins (19:34.907)
Yeah.
Samantha (19:53.672)
into my 20s where I think I had this like, I'm not going to be the best coach for everybody. And that's okay. You know, right? I think we know with everything, it's got to be a good fit. And I think I was able to own and claim, I'll tell clients what you can expect from me is a cheerleader is empathetic. Like I can sit with you in the emotions, but my arranger learner and maximizer is also going to be like, okay, where do we go from here? So
Sarah Collins (19:59.112)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (20:19.772)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (20:21.044)
I'm able to, I think now share of like, this is how I push or challenge. And because I have positivity and empathy and harmony actually, we think of those as kind of the energy readers, right? So I'm able to drop in pretty quickly, get a read energetically and know, is it time to push or is it time to sit and celebrate or is it time to just be and listen? It takes a lot of self-censorship.
Sarah Collins (20:33.436)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (20:40.85)
Mm-hmm.
Bill Dippel (20:46.882)
Such a good way to say it.
Samantha (20:49.148)
takes a lot of self-awareness and I think permission for myself of doing that for people.
Bill Dippel (20:56.394)
Well, we hit on a minute ago, we brought up your influencing sides and how you might influence people and looking on page 21 of your report, influencing is the least common domain for your report. However, when we and it's numbered, it's the second for me, I tend to lead with relationship and then second for me is influencing. So on your point from from your point of view,
Samantha (21:08.332)
Mm-hmm.
Bill Dippel (21:25.424)
I really feel like you're fairly influential. Like when I see you talking and we're talking about what you're doing and you're, you're working with higher end management and you're being productive with that level of that caliber of people, you've got to be a little influential in those ways. So, can you speak for a moment about how maybe your relationship themes are what leads you to that influence or maybe just that positivity? We know
People love being around positive people. How does that affect your influence with some of these CEOs and leaders?
Samantha (22:00.672)
That's a great question. And it brings up a few examples of I've worked with, whether it's individuals in tech or engineers or doctors, but maybe more lead, again, with the strategic thinking strengths or the data. And I will lead, I will come in, I think my influence is I always say, let's just name it. I'll come in and say, here I am. Like, you're gonna feel this positivity and woo.
But I want to name that it's not all rainbows and butterflies. I'm not here to sugarcoat, but what I am here to do is to help you maybe see the possibility. If you are stuck in something or a problem that is real, let's sit in it. Let's dive in it. And then let's say, OK, well, where can we go from here? What are the blockers and barriers? What is something that is in your control to change? One of my favorite questions is,
Sarah Collins (22:41.768)
Yeah.
Samantha (22:58.38)
I think we think so often of like worst case scenario and it's not a bad thing. I think it's great to prepare. But then I'm like, but what's the best case scenario? Like, let's say if you made this decision, what's the best thing that could happen? What doors that are open that maybe weren't open before because we're just looking at this differently. But at the end of the day, it has to be real and authentic to you. I would love to just provide a different perspective. And I think that when I'm working with
Sarah Collins (23:06.97)
Yeah, ooh.
Samantha (23:28.618)
individuals who we have different backgrounds or different strengths. I think it allows us to sit across the table from each other, if that makes sense. So it comes from this place of understanding and I'm not here to convince or change or fix anything. I'm just here to help you navigate it.
Bill Dippel (23:49.67)
for our listeners, boy, there's a master class right there on if you feel you needed influencing and you don't influence people, what else can you do? And how can how can that lead towards being more effective with some of the people you deal with? Because that's a wonderful explanation on just being positive and holding the space and using my relationship themes to understand what you're bringing. And let me give you a different perspective, but it's got to resonate with you.
That's the relationship. I've got to feel that you're invested in what I'm about to give you.
Samantha (24:23.894)
Yes, yes.
Sarah Collins (24:24.776)
And it reminds me of the quote that I've probably seen on Instagram. It's like, what if I fail? And it's like, oh, but what if you fly? Right? And what a positivity, what a slant on things. I love that.
Samantha (24:32.012)
And it might, yeah, it is. And sometimes I'll call it out. I'll say, if I'm in a big workshop or I'm like, strengths might feel a little woo woo, might feel a little fluffy, but I'm like, what's so wrong with that? Like, I think we, I think we forget, I go, if this is one more way that you're more self-aware of yourself or your teammates, and it allows you to show up in a way that you are energized and hopeful.
Sarah Collins (24:48.401)
Yes!
Samantha (25:03.264)
I love that for you. and if that's not where you want to be, that's okay too. What works for you? I'll ask people, let's not even talk about strengths, but let's talk about like, when are you at your best? What brings you joy? What lights you up? Mostly it's their strengths. I'm using their strengths. But like, I just think that having the spaces where we can talk about what is beautiful in our life. I think it allows us to show up with more gratitude.
Sarah Collins (25:04.615)
Right.
Sarah Collins (25:19.526)
Right.
Bill Dippel (25:20.658)
Right.
Samantha (25:33.258)
And I think that that's a ripple effect in our families and our communities and people we work with.
Sarah Collins (25:38.407)
Absolutely. really positivity as a strength really embodies it's no doubt or it's no wonder that so many of us who are coaches have high positivity because the assessment is what happens when we start focusing on what's right as opposed to trying to fix what's wrong, which is a little bit of what the positivity theme is. I will tell people often when I'm coaching that I, you know,
We know that there is a group for every strength. There's a group of talents and behaviors that people exhibit. And then basically the data scientists at Gallup had to put words on each one, which I have to think was super hard for some of these. And I always say, I bet it was hard to name positivity because here's the thing. Some people with positivity are those optimists, those glass half full people.
Samantha (26:21.834)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (26:28.466)
But I meet lots of positivity, high positivity people that will say, I'm a realist. I'm not that optimistic person all the time. So how do I have high positivity? And so I always say to them, one of the ways that I now describe positivity in a coaching session is I'll say, I think high positivity is a vibe. I think that these people kind of vibrate at a higher good energy or frequency.
Samantha (26:33.996)
Yes.
Sarah Collins (26:55.084)
Yes, some can be optimistic, some can be glass half full, but not all of the high positivity people are. And I think positivity, like all strengths, but positivity is definitely influenced by the other strengths around it in a lot of drastic ways. know, Sam, you and I share a lot of our strengths in common. I think we share like six or seven. Our positivity, I think, shows up in a lot of similar ways because we have a lot of similar strengths around it.
Samantha (27:08.854)
Yes.
Sarah Collins (27:22.514)
but I meet people who have really different strengths than me who have high positivity and their positivity looks different. And that's why I kind of describe it as a vibe. You can kind of see these people show up in a room because they're kind of just coming in with a little bit more umph and energy maybe than others. Now that doesn't mean people who don't have positivity can't have that same sort of outcome because they could be leading with other relationship building themes or influencing themes.
But to me, I can kind of see the positivity through someone regardless of their like optimism meter. Do you agree with that? How do you describe positivity to your clients?
Samantha (27:57.195)
Yes.
Samantha (28:01.932)
I think that's huge and spot on. think something I was reflecting on before this call or like a misconception is that with positivity, we're always happy or we're always on. And I think then that can translate into this expectation of carrying the energy and the happiness of a group.
Sarah Collins (28:12.808)
Mmm.
Samantha (28:24.556)
of a family, of a, like people are kind of like looking at you to be like, now we're here, know, woo, I'm feeling like we're a little low. And then you come at like, positive, I think talking with your hands is one of the things like you are physically like bringing your whole presence, but it isn't blind cheerfulness. And I think this is the difference of, I think what positivity really is at its best. It's this resilience and understanding that even in the hardest or darkest times,
Sarah Collins (28:43.272)
Hmm.
Samantha (28:54.41)
I always say there's still a light at the end of the tunnel. Like, we don't know. Sometimes it's a big light. Sometimes it's like, ooh, there it is. And it's this like, people with positivity, I think, that there is something coming. There's something on the other side. There's hope. There's resilience. And I think with positivity, we can feel and experience really like the vibration.
Sarah Collins (28:58.311)
Yeah.
Samantha (29:24.458)
the high highs but can really experience the low lows. So it's, I think it's really expansive strength. I think it has a lot of width and depth that is sometimes hard to like, I don't know, like hold on to and describe it. Yeah. Yeah.
Sarah Collins (29:27.9)
Yes.
Bill Dippel (29:43.901)
There's there's the Pollyanna. Yeah, there's the Pollyanna side of it right there, right? So I and I love the idea of the width and the and what you bring in those I I hear a lot of learner and belief in you I know they're lower in your top ten But they're there when you were talking about how I how I lead others with the coaching end of it. I'm listening I'm learning I'm providing some belief around what I know and what I can help you understand and I
Sarah Collins (29:49.606)
Yeah.
Bill Dippel (30:13.252)
I need my relationship side to let you hear this and then let I will feel whether or not this resonates with you I can make that happen and I just heard you talking about all of this wonderful width with positivity and how you're always learning and understanding where we can go So I I just I'm curious from The positivity side you also have woo in your top ten So how are those affecting each other and does it do you think it?
Samantha (30:37.409)
Mm.
Bill Dippel (30:43.01)
It adds to the Pollyanna nature sometimes of positivity or is it or is it just another stroke to positivity and I'm meeting people and it's a it's a wonderful sidecar to
Samantha (30:54.06)
It's, I think it's a little bit of both. I reflect on, mean, woo, we want to be liked. We want us, we want people to like us, to know us. And it's not like a, I always think about like, why? Like, why do I want to be liked? Or like, or positivity in woo. I think there's sometimes that balance of, again, like, it's my job to like help curate.
Sarah Collins (31:00.903)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (31:21.93)
this feeling or the energy or the environment, which is not true. No one asked us to do that. No one needs that or like help to be fixed, maybe a little bit of empathy. But I think it really depends. I think it can really amplify. think it can connect people. I think what I love about my woo and actually my input is I love, yes, learning about different people and then knowing, okay, who can I connect? So I think with the positivity, allows me to kind of like have this wider circle.
Sarah Collins (31:27.974)
Right.
Samantha (31:51.692)
of influences for myself, for other people. So I think the more people I know, the more people that are in my sphere in orbit because of those strengths, I'm then able to share their wisdom and their gifts with people that I meet. I don't know if that answered your question, but I think they play really well together. as always, the blind spots, it's keeping them in check in a healthy way.
Sarah Collins (32:06.866)
Yeah.
Bill Dippel (32:10.565)
It does.
Samantha (32:18.792)
It really for me comes from like an energetic stance. I can feel like when am I in balance? Which it could be like our nervous system. When am I kind of in that neutral state? When am I maybe more in fight or flight? Right? And I think with our strengths, whether they show in that kind of raw or mature is really impacting our ability to self-regulate from my personal experience.
Sarah Collins (32:40.592)
Absolutely. Well, and it makes me think sometimes when I'm talking to people with high positivity, I'll talk about and I'm curious if this is true for you based on what you're saying about like the energy. Positivity is a relationship building theme. I see for many people, it turns on or ratchets is up when with people in relationship out in the world, right? Like
Samantha (32:56.844)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (33:06.454)
Yes.
Sarah Collins (33:09.968)
Some of the other strengths, think Wu is this way, I find, and because again, I have it as one and with clients, it does not always show up in my home, especially if I am alone a lot. And again, I have a lot of other relationship-building influencing themes surrounding it. But I find that sometimes I can get down. I can, when I am alone or I'm just at home, I can get depressed, sad, lonely.
Samantha (33:19.98)
you
Sarah Collins (33:39.419)
I can get negative, I can get kind of like in this, woe is me state. Now for me, with that positivity, I think, and probably in combination with that woo, once I get out with people, it's like, boom, I'm back. I'm like recharged, I feel better, I feel snapped. But if I allow myself to be at home alone and start to go down to that mental dark place,
and I don't pull myself out of it for whatever reason. I'm thinking about COVID when I had little babies, I really got sucked into the vortex. And it has always been a reminder to me of like, okay, you need to get out, you need to go see people because your strengths will activate and you will pull up because it's like, I can show up for other people more than I can show up for myself almost with that positivity. Does that resonate with you or any of the clients that you have?
Samantha (34:32.876)
So much. And whether that's, I think positivity absolutely, and the other relationship building strengths, they are so, I coach this so much, they're so easy to give. But like what you're saying, Sarah, is how do we turn inward? I mean, it's a cliche, but if our cup isn't full, we're pouring from an empty cup. And so, I mean, Brene Brown says, you know, we as human buildings, we're built for connection.
And I think it's figuring out what does that connection look like. I think my woo and positivity over time, I say I'm now a selective intro or extrovert. Like I don't get energy from any type of people or like big groups anymore. It's like, I want the real authentic, deep conversations. Like what's the meaning of life? And knowing of when I, and I think there's also this like we can't, I've learned I can't rely on other people to make me happy.
Sarah Collins (35:09.458)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (35:30.664)
Yeah.
Samantha (35:31.04)
Like that's also not on other people and it's left me actually more depleted. So what I'm hearing you say is I think I've learned what are my rituals and practices? How do I re-energize my relationship building strengths? So positivity specifically, I love to journal. Whether it's, know, when we're focused on gratitude, so it might be like five minutes of gratitude in the morning, that's actually positioning our brain.
Sarah Collins (35:44.924)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (35:58.896)
we're not able to hold other emotions like fear sadness like gratitude is actually like reframing your mindset on things going on nature walks like being with myself and allowing me to experience the wonder the joy because that's positivity too it's like this childlike it's like this play or if you've heard of the science of like to go on a walk
no podcast, no music, and literally just notice. And it's those things that I think have allowed me to fuel myself, fuel my positivity, that then that's something that I coach for clients. I'm like, how about, how about you just go for a 10 minute walk today and just like write down what you see. So I think that's, that's what I have learned in those moments of like, how do we refuel and recharge those strengths that are.
Bill Dippel (36:52.487)
I love that you brought that back to the positivity because Sarah, when you were saying that there are so many times when I don't want to be around people and I all relationship, I'm all blue upfront and there are moments where I am so happy. I am alone and you know, I'm in the house alone or I'm or I'm working on stuff. I mentioned, I just did a bunch of work on a, on a motorcycle and I was out in the garage.
Samantha (37:06.454)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (37:10.678)
Yes.
Bill Dippel (37:20.551)
for multiple nights just doing metal work and grinding and alone and doing, you know, and and really loving that alone time. But and Sarah, I get it. There are times I get into that dark place to where I need to go talk to people. But boy, you know, Sam, you brought it up so well that to recharge it and refuel it is so critical so frequently. There are while I was in the garage working on these parts.
every now and then I'd get a text from someone saying hey let's go do something I'm like leave me alone leave me alone right I would because well mostly because here's the thing now you're go have fun without me and that gets that fly now I'm like well should I be in the garage working on it you know because this is I could do this on another another day or you know and I don't want to know just don't tell me that way I'm not you know my head's in the sand it kind of flies up for me in that way so
Samantha (37:53.836)
Unavailable.
Sarah Collins (38:02.216)
Mmm.
Bill Dippel (38:17.831)
I'd almost say, Sarah, for me, sometimes those moments of darkness are self forced, you know, from another situation where I oversee it and overlook at it. But Sam, I just completely echo with you that I need to recharge sometimes. I need as a relationship influencing person, I need to just work with my hands and be alone and have my own aha moments with maybe there's music, maybe what I don't know, but I just know I love it.
Sarah Collins (38:26.61)
Yeah.
Bill Dippel (38:47.439)
I love it. And I love that you brought that back to that's that is positivity too.
Samantha (38:52.222)
Yeah, yeah. And it's a reframing. what I love about strengths is there's no right or wrong. There's no right way to have our strengths or to fuel our strengths. for me, it comes back to the self-awareness of what feels good in your body. I'll have my clients, right? It's like when they say something and you can hear the tone in their voice. Or like,
Sarah Collins (39:00.328)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (39:18.844)
you sounded a little hesitant or I'll ask like when you said that out loud what did it feel like you know there's so much research around I think it's more like body to mind the mind about like our bar issues are in our tissues our body or is like telling us what feels joyful or energetic or what feels draining and it's you really have to be like self-aware and I think then that kind of helps us to then track and know
do I put my energy? What's going to feel good for me today? What do I say yes to? What do I say no to? And positivity, like you said, Sarah, it can sometimes be hard to say no to people. You want to be like, yes, I'll be at your birthday party and celebrate you. Yes, I will do this thing. And maybe that's a little bit of my responsibility too. And it's kind of like checking in of is that polyamory or like
Sarah Collins (39:53.832)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (40:01.641)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (40:17.664)
Do I really want to do that? And sometimes it's a little bit of both. And that's okay.
Sarah Collins (40:23.868)
right. Do you think people see your positivity as making you more magnetic? Or do you think it can come out as unrealistic?
Samantha (40:38.972)
I think both. Actually, early on in my graduate school career, my first boss, is she named. She was like, I want a name kind of as a coach and as a mentor that positivity can come off as naive and unrealistic. And I say that with you because I want you to be able to own it, right? Like when you're in calls, you're in meetings, especially I was 22, right? And I was in pretty big.
meetings in spaces with individuals who had a lot more experience than me or background. And I really appreciated that. So it's how do I really hold and own that? And I think it's something I'm always figuring out. I think lately I would say it's probably more magnetic because I have more of that self-awareness. But for sure in the realm of unrealistic or it's like you know what maybe it's easier.
You know, our levels of like, think are a little different too. So it's a balance. I hope it's more magnetic. But you know, we'll see.
Bill Dippel (41:44.167)
I hope I hope it is too. And yeah, and you have empathy also in your top 10. I have it high. So I know for me, what plays out is I'm feeling other people's emotions and it's affecting my positivity. How does that work for you?
Sarah Collins (41:44.775)
Well...
Samantha (41:51.157)
Yeah.
Samantha (42:03.5)
was actually just thinking about this. I know, wow, see? Notice that, no, that was a good sigh. I was actually just reflecting on this on a, I've been doing like morning nature walks. And I think with empathy and positivity, holding the duality of emotions, like holding the duality of joy and grief, like holding the duality of like, this is really hard and this is something that I like want to celebrate in my life. And so,
Bill Dippel (42:03.938)
that was a deep breath right there. I'm a little worried now. So yeah.
Samantha (42:32.776)
empathy as you were naming, I think something that we check with empathy is, is this my emotion? First off, like what I'm feeling, is this mine and is this mine to hold? Or is this something that is coming through I can recognize and then detach from it? Because is it serving me and my higher good of what maybe what I'm navigating? And is it dampening?
Sarah Collins (42:41.586)
Yaaaas.
Samantha (43:00.298)
the positivity. So it's like this interesting duality because right positivity, we're feeling there are no negative emotions, but maybe more like more undesirable ones as Brene Brown may say, if we're in that like sadness or fear or disappointment, sometimes positivity really wants to get us out of there. Like positivity doesn't like to be in those emotions. So it's like, nope, I'm good. I'm fine. I'm going to move on as people ask, you know, how are you doing? Great.
Sarah Collins (43:20.36)
Mm-hmm.
Bill Dippel (43:24.229)
Yeah.
Samantha (43:30.112)
And like behind your eyes, you're like, you're not okay. As you're crying, you're like, I'm fine, it's great, everything's fine. I'm so happy to be here. I think with the empathy and positivity.
Bill Dippel (43:31.824)
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Sarah Collins (43:36.424)
I'm so happy.
Samantha (43:44.84)
Sometimes I need to tell positivity like I know we're gonna get through this. It's okay, but right now it's and I'm
Sarah Collins (43:52.38)
Yeah. I think the movie Inside Out is a master class in this.
Bill Dippel (43:52.708)
Yeah, yeah.
Samantha (43:56.024)
That's it. That's so, yeah. We love joy.
Bill Dippel (43:58.395)
That's it.
Sarah Collins (43:59.525)
Right? Joy is the epitome of positivity, but like, you know, she learns in the first movie that there is a place for sadness and that joy cannot exist and be her full self without also feeling sadness and anger and jealousy and all of the things, right?
Bill Dippel (44:16.186)
Yeah, yeah, I'm I am curious also from from this point of view Regarding your your positivity When you step into it's so funny. I'm trying to stretch this out because I completely lost the question I Literally was like this is gonna be a great question and I and then I'm like, where did that question? where
Samantha (44:16.278)
Yeah, yeah.
Sarah Collins (44:34.536)
Yeah.
Samantha (44:35.412)
I love this.
Sarah Collins (44:40.892)
Why are you distracted from all the men in vests walking around your yard?
Bill Dippel (44:43.928)
I mean my whole world is upside down today so I'm not even certain why I'm completely distracted but there it goes. But I think I was going with from the positivity side. You know what, I don't know. I had a great one. So Sarah, go ahead.
Samantha (44:48.332)
We're flowing.
Sarah Collins (44:57.402)
Okay. Kind of going back to what you were saying, Sam, about when you were first in sort of your working experience and, you know, having a great mentor coach who was able to like call out your positivity and notice that. And I agree with you, like coming from also academia. I remember when I first started working, almost feeling like I should hide my positivity, you know, because I sort of felt like
Samantha (44:58.454)
I it.
Samantha (45:23.99)
Yes, interesting.
Sarah Collins (45:26.44)
especially in that arena, will no one will take me seriously or will or will think I know what I'm talking about if I show up as this like bubbly happy girl in meetings when I'm surrounded by all these like serious academics who do research and you know are are so much more thoughtful, impensive and analytical if I show up as who I am.
they won't take me seriously. And I really feel like it's part of my story is like once I leaned into who I was and that positivity and stuff, that's when I feel like my career was really able to take off because I do feel like I was still able to earn credibility. Now you could also probably say that's my responsibility and my arranger, know, they're helping me get things done. But do you feel like too much positivity can harm credibility or like in certain work environments?
can impact that.
Bill Dippel (46:23.715)
And I want to point out Sarah, you and I are of the like mind because it finally came back to me what that question was and it's almost exactly that which is can you and from my question was going to be can you think of an instance where your positivity said the wrong thing in a given situation? So, you know, somebody my dog just passed away. Well, your dog's in a better place. Yeah, I didn't need to hear that. You know what I needed? I needed you to just hold that space for me for a minute.
And Sarah, so on point, you and I think the same way. How has that gotten in your way?
Samantha (46:57.692)
great, great questions. Because again, it comes back to this like when you're noticing, and maybe a little bit of my harmony, right? If you're noticing tension or conflict or something that doesn't physically feel good, positivity wants to lighten the mood. Whether that's through people can use humor or sarcasm or again, this kind of maybe sugarcoating of like, well, let's think about this and almost like be showing up.
inauthentically. So absolutely there are times where like, well I'm noticing this. So I better like bigger smile, bigger you know hand emotions. And I think what I've realized is sometimes the greatest gift of positivity is to listen and just observe. And I think it's knowing and understanding when are people or is the situation ready.
Sarah Collins (47:56.2)
Yeah.
Samantha (47:56.876)
Sometimes we're not ready. we might know, yeah, I'll get through this. But you know what? Right now, it's really hard. And so I think it's knowing when to sit with people in that or in those meetings. And it's hard. It's because there's no perfect answer. But I mean, to answer your question, absolutely. Have I probably overshadowed something too soon or wanted to get to the like, well, it'll all work out. It might. It probably will. Or another outcome will come.
But it comes back to assessing when are people ready to hear and receive it.
and just takes a lot of practice and you might get it wrong. And even when you think they're ready to hear it, they might be like, no, I don't wanna.
Sarah Collins (48:38.15)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (48:42.29)
Right.
Bill Dippel (48:44.494)
might get it wrong. I think I get it wrong about half the time. So thanks. Thanks for pointing that out.
Samantha (48:46.732)
Yes.
Sarah Collins (48:48.592)
Well, you know, you're you even I really feel like that positivity, I feel like positivity is one of those strengths that you might just think, you have it or you don't. Right. And it doesn't need a lot of work. And I actually feel like of all my strengths, I've had to do the most growth around my positivity. And it has taken a lot of aging and growing, like literally growing older and having more time with it to
understand when to use it. And Bill uses this great metaphor of like a car, right? Like what's in the driver's seat, the passenger seat, the back seat in the trunk. And a lot of times my positivity woo communication was sit in the driver's seat. And that is not always right exactly what you're saying. And I think like when I was younger, I was a riot at a funeral. mean, like I'm just basically a stand up comedian because I'm so uncomfortable. And I don't know how to let anyone do this. I don't want everyone to be sad. And I'm just like,
joke, joke, joke, joke. And like as a grownup, I have to be like, someone died, shut up, like stop, right? Like put that shit in the trunk. It doesn't mean there's not a time and place for it. There might be someone who's ready for it, but you have to like turn on those spidey senses. You need to look and observe. You need to use that individualization, right? Like you have a responsibility here, like turn into some of your other strengths and put those in the driver's seat because today is not the day to try your stand up.
session, okay?
Bill Dippel (50:16.089)
Sarah in that case let him out of the trunk and leave them at the at the truck stop while you drive on I mean that's a You can get them later. You're fine, right? Wow Wow, so good Yeah, I I echoed that component. I often have to leave something behind put it way back Let let it let someone else see it and drive it and with that I assume when I have to step back Samantha you have input number two
Sarah Collins (50:20.582)
Yeah!
Samantha (50:21.61)
Yeah, you can pick them up.
Bill Dippel (50:46.233)
And I assume that really lets you absorb that stuff along with that empathy. So you're getting the emotions, but you're also getting the structured stuff, that input. I've got the data always coming at me and I'm willing to absorb it and reissue it in a new systematized way. Fair?
Samantha (51:04.628)
Yes, and I also have very high arranger. I'm a coach, but I'm also our director of operations at Wild. So I manage all of our coaching projects. So I'm not only managing my own clients, but our coaches and their clients, right? And it's always a configuring of what is the best next step or the best next priority.
what is the most important thing right now, right? Maximizer wants to try to filter through that. So I think my arranger playing with my positivity and empathy is how do you communicate what, when, and with who? So it's this constant like configuring of not only the projects in the process, but human emotions. And that's just how I naturally do it. Right or wrong, it probably takes a lot of time. But I'm like, okay, how can I deliver this message?
Sarah Collins (51:44.797)
Hmm.
Sarah Collins (51:52.551)
Right.
Samantha (52:00.98)
And something that helps me, maybe my responsibility is like, what is mine to own? Like what, how do I want to show up in this space or in this circumstance? What is needed from me? And like, what's my role here? I think that then helps me know, okay, which strengths need to lead. And it's like, you know, my role here is input learner today. My role here is to listen and to observe. Or maybe my role here is today is just to hold space.
Sarah Collins (52:06.919)
Hmm.
Samantha (52:31.562)
And I think that's something that has helped me, I think, in my coaching calls back to what you were saying, Sarah, of, do I need to be more challenging or pushing where sometimes I'll ask, like, how do you need me to show up today? Like, why do I have to think, like, I know what they need all the time when I'm like, what if I ask, like, how can I support you right now?
Sarah Collins (52:44.722)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (52:53.767)
Yeah.
Bill Dippel (52:53.846)
Yeah, so good. I had a client here yesterday I was meeting with and I just said, look, we've met for a while. Sometimes we these cascade into BS sessions where we're just catching up and doing things. And I get a lot of value out of that. And I know you do too. But I want to be honest, your time is incredibly valuable. So you mentioned, you know, I'm helping you with your HR things and you've mentioned I'm helping you understand where your businesses are moving and where you're moving to. And I've helped you.
Work on just some individual coaching for yourself around your thought process and where you're going What do you want to do like from this point forward? What's new? You know what what is the best value I can bring for you because if it's to be an hr Representative in some way and help you ideal Around what your your employees are doing and how to do it i'm that guy And if you want to just coach you one-on-one and build your strengths and do i'm happy to be that guy and if you want to
Samantha (53:45.676)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (53:51.122)
Mm-hmm.
Bill Dippel (53:51.503)
talk about the beers we aren't drinking and and you know I can do that but I want to I want to make this beneficial for you and I do think it's one of the very first times I've done that in the middle of a set I've I have a long session right I've done I've done it in the beginning for a lot a lot of people if I don't have a good feel for where we're going how can I help and where can I be but after seeing him for months I'm gonna reset it and
We had a long discussion about what that looks like for him. So really good on you for bringing that up right in the right at it and knowing, hey, sometimes I have to step back. I have to. And I usually think I know where we're going. And I am so often wrong. We end up going somewhere different.
Samantha (54:38.59)
And I think that's like the greatest gift, honestly, is all of us as coaches. But we bring that then into our families and our friends. And I think what I've learned is like, if more of us, if we could ask a question, really listen, and have no attachment to the outcome. I mean, that's what coaching is, or we hope to be. I think we would learn and, I don't know.
gain a lot more. And I think it gives us the permission to not put as much pressure on us, whoever that is, individual, to have the answer or to fix it or to change it.
Sarah Collins (55:18.428)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (55:22.154)
when it's not even in our full control. I mean, I don't know. It really depends on the situation. But I think if we gave ourselves a little bit more grace to not have the answers, it shows a level of vulnerability and then invites that person, right, to have more vulnerability to then help us get to the outcome that we're there really trying to get to, or we are as a team or a group. And I think positivity allows for that psychological safety, let's say, or that
Sarah Collins (55:42.588)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (55:51.2)
that space to want to share.
Sarah Collins (55:55.473)
Yeah, because I think my positivity will show up and say like, I see the best in you. Like you're safe here to admit that you're not perfect because I believe that you are the best that you can be. Right. And we're just trying like that sort of, think there, there is some of that when you're a cheerleader, like positivity can be like, I think we can show up.
It's not necessarily Pollyanna to say, I see you and I love you, even if you're my client, like I love you for who you are and I believe that you are good. And also there is room for growth. So it's okay to admit what is not perfect because I'm not going to judge you based on that. Of course you're not perfect. Literally no one is like now let's accept that and move forward and, and workshop how we get you to continue to grow and evolve knowing that you're already starting from a place of goodness.
Samantha (56:47.708)
Mm-hmm. And we're all, what is it, like a work in progress. I love that. Like we're always growing and evolving. And I think it lets people exhale and really think and let it sit.
Sarah Collins (57:03.176)
I would be remiss if I didn't bring this up in an episode about positivity. So I would love your take on it. Negativity, negative people. There's a lot of discussion in my clients who have high positivity about how they interact and how they show up and how they feel about people that are negative. You know, the sort of like thunder clouds of human beings, whether it's a season or a personality.
Samantha (57:13.406)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (57:33.064)
What is your experience personally and with clients who have positivity and their power and influence and perception of the sort of negative people?
Samantha (57:47.788)
It's fascinating. Positivity gets very drained very quickly. And positivity is about fun. So it's like, this isn't fun. I'm not enjoying this. I want to go do something like whimsical. I don't know. Maybe that's me. And so I think, so I always say, which hat am I wearing?
Sarah Collins (57:59.078)
Yeah.
Samantha (58:14.76)
I feel like I'm the same person, probably you both, as a coach. But sometimes I'm like, OK, am I Sam Sam or am I Coach Sam in this moment? And I think through my trainings, if I am dealing with someone who, and again, what defines negativity? I think there's also an awareness of, I've worked with people with maybe high context or high analytical, kind of calling out those strengths, but they have a lot of questions. And my perspective is, they're just kind of like poo pooing on this or.
Sarah Collins (58:20.156)
Yup.
Samantha (58:44.202)
like, let's just, it's good, let's get to the outcome. But if I've had to reframe and ask them, okay, well, tell me more about that. I think if we can, if we can lead into wanting to understand those individuals or their perspective, I think, I think it then allows positivity to like play a role here rather than trying to sugar coat it or kind of speed past it, right? We almost get a little like irritated or annoyed, which not saying I don't do this, but like, we're just like,
Okay, I'm just gonna avoid it. I'm not gonna be around it. But then maybe this is my learner of like, okay, but what can I learn from this individual? And maybe what I can learn from them and what can I teach them? So I don't know, it's a hard take. And I think sometimes I'll say, and who in your life is maybe a little bit more draining and where can you set really healthy boundaries?
Sarah Collins (59:40.2)
Mm-hmm.
Bill Dippel (59:40.803)
Mmm.
Samantha (59:40.876)
Like, I'm going to see this person, and I'm going to see them Tuesday mornings, and we go for a walk or have coffee. I don't know. If this is someone you work with, I think what are ways that we can kind of create a parameter of, want to show up, or I have to be in spaces with these individuals without it completely draining or depleting my energy? Because then I'm not then able to give that to the next person or the next client or my family at home.
So sometimes maybe putting on parameters, I guess are my initial.
Sarah Collins (01:00:12.742)
Yeah, and I love what you called out, what you called out in the beginning of that I think is really important for people with high positivity to hear because I think people with high positivity can get a misconception that they should be able to overcome negative people or like gossip or whatever. Like, well, I should be able to like rubber ball that like, bounce off of it. It's fine. We keep going.
Samantha (01:00:28.844)
Thank
Sarah Collins (01:00:36.134)
And so then they'll come to me and they'll be like, okay, but this person or this group of people sucks me dry and I'm supposed to have this positivity, but like, I can't handle it. And I say sort of similar to what you said. I'm like, positivity only has so much bandwidth to do that. You know, a little bit of that, I think you can kind of bounce, but like, no, it's gonna be good. But if you have someone, just like you said, where you don't have those boundaries, for whatever reason, a family member, work, a good friend,
Samantha (01:00:45.505)
Yeah.
Samantha (01:00:50.517)
Yeah. Yeah.
Samantha (01:00:54.986)
Now you can go through.
Sarah Collins (01:01:02.992)
and they're just coming at you and they're sucking the life out of you. Yeah, it's because you cannot as a positivity person just always show up and be the sunshine for them. Like it will suck you dry.
Samantha (01:01:14.444)
It is not, yeah, like the bandwidth or capacity, it's just not realistic or sustainable.
Bill Dippel (01:01:20.663)
Well, you're you're not the anti venom, right? I mean, we can't look at our strengths that way, right?
Samantha (01:01:24.372)
And you're not that... Yeah. We think we are. No! yeah. Yeah.
Sarah Collins (01:01:24.496)
Right.
Samantha (01:01:46.904)
absolutely. I mean, if you're like, if I'm going to choose a space to be, who are those individuals? But it's interesting. also think of, maybe it's not negativity, but some of the strengths were maybe mentioning earlier, command or self-assurance. I think there's also this level of, who are those people that help ground us too? Because positivity, think, or like a balloon, right? It can kind of just keep going and keep going.
Bill Dippel (01:01:51.958)
It's, yeah.
Sarah Collins (01:02:08.752)
Mmm.
Samantha (01:02:16.01)
And then we're kind of like, can be in the clouds, right? Or we're not maybe living in the realistic reality. And so I love the combination of, hey, like, what do you notice here? Because I'm getting really like swept up by the energy or the emotion of the group or the experience. And maybe someone who leads with a little bit more, I don't know if it's, I don't want to say like realism, like practicality or how they view the situation, I think helps to ground positivity of, you know what?
This is okay. Like there's nothing wrong here. There's nothing to fix or to change. It is okay to be in this reality. And it doesn't mean like, we're not going to be okay. Or it doesn't mean that the people aren't okay. They're just processing this information.
Sarah Collins (01:03:02.916)
Exactly.
Bill Dippel (01:03:04.054)
Right? Well, how those people come into that, are they in the right space? Are those themes working for them correctly? That's going to take us right to this. You ready? So I need to know in your world, when have you had that firework moment? When are you? What theme is it? And you talked about so many other themes and different things that are there. So this doesn't have to be positivity, but it might be. When are you?
Samantha (01:03:04.212)
Yeah, so it's interesting.
Bill Dippel (01:03:32.542)
on fire. Like when is the when is the firework falling and there it's bright and shiny and you are in that in that wonderful haze.
Samantha (01:03:46.22)
It's interesting. A moment actually comes up recently. I was out in California. I was like leading. It's interesting. I was brought in more as like a friend to lead these three different women's groups. And I was brought in, I think, because of my positivity, empathy, and harmony. And when I feel like I'm on the most on fire is when I'm able to show up and create a container.
hold a space for individuals to better understand themselves, to be heard, to share, and to be celebrated. That, like I have actually chills in my body. When I'm able to bring people together in community and help them remember the joy, resiliency, and love that they have in themselves, I'm just like, I think that's what it's all about.
Bill Dippel (01:04:40.16)
Yeah, yeah, really good moment to reflect on when you're feeling it with all that relationship that you're feeling. we mentioned the harmony. Number one and feeling everyone around you loving what's happening right now. I mean, that's that is just super fuel for a good harmony positivity person. So all right. But you don't get off that easy. What what theme is it when you're in the dumpster fire? What happened?
Sarah Collins (01:04:40.572)
Yeah.
Samantha (01:04:58.676)
and low. Yeah.
Bill Dippel (01:05:08.47)
When you're in that situation where you're like, everything just went sideways, what theme do you usually find might be getting in your way during those moments?
Samantha (01:05:17.444)
I mean, I immediately go to responsibility. I mean, responsibility can have, as we know, this over ownership, this like over yes or the sometimes I think it can be I'm giving away my power too much, you know, or I'm access. I'm it has responsibility can kind of have this consuming.
Sarah Collins (01:05:20.976)
Mmm.
Bill Dippel (01:05:21.12)
Hmm, go on, we're listening.
Sarah Collins (01:05:38.994)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (01:05:45.036)
the fear of, right, disappointment or maybe not being enough. Maybe that's a little maximizer too. That kind of the both of them together of, which then I think out of balance, right, really then dims my true superpower. Like I can get kind of, I get more narrow focused, right? Energetically, I'm maybe darker. Like, I don't know about you, Sarah, but people can read me like a flippin' book and I know this. Like it is very hard for me to hide
Sarah Collins (01:05:50.248)
I was gonna say maybe the both of them.
Sarah Collins (01:06:12.806)
Mm-hmm.
Samantha (01:06:15.02)
what I am feeling or thinking and the positivity cannot be there. And so it's the balance of, yeah, when is that serving me and when is it not? And really coming back to the question of what is mine to own and what do I need to let go of a release right now because it's actually not allowing me to show up in a productive.
Sarah Collins (01:06:37.831)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (01:06:41.318)
I love that. And I think you make like such a good point about just because a strength shows up in your top 10 on your report. Remember it is technically identifying a talent. That doesn't mean you use it all the time or it shows up for you or that you've mastered it. So if you are someone who you're like, it says I have this, but I don't do this. I don't see it. It could just be you have not invested in it. Talent times investment equals strength.
Samantha (01:06:57.26)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (01:07:07.496)
If you're not using it and investing it in pouring into it, it might not be showing up for you. But if you did, you could be shocked how fast that muscle grows. And so like thinking about people's reports, it's like, yeah, it could be that. And it might not just be as all or nothing as that. It's like you're saying there are moments where we lean into certain things that then we kind of stop investing in those other things. And we have to almost like consciously go, wow.
Samantha (01:07:12.492)
Yeah.
Samantha (01:07:17.993)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (01:07:35.687)
I am not, I have not been showing up as positivity. This has not been here. What does that look like? How do I go back to that? Cause I want some of that in my life. And I feel like we feel most in alignment when we are using those natural talents more often than not. And if you feel sort of out of alignment, you feel like you're not yourself and you're not your best and you're feeling that there's a good chance that you're living either not using your strengths or you're just like in the basement of a lot of them.
Samantha (01:08:02.16)
absolutely. it's this, yeah, and then when we live out of alignment, everything's a lot harder. Like our work is harder. I don't think we're really able to make like decisions that we need to make. Like in a way that's like we're clear and we're open. So I always come back to with my positivity. I also realize like to
Sarah Collins (01:08:10.407)
Yeah.
Samantha (01:08:27.338)
to be in the reality that we're in. So I will often say to clients in your reality, your life, your work, your environment, the world, like in your reality, what are you able to do to feel fueled and energized? What are you able to do to recenter into balance? You might not have an hour to go to yoga or you might not have 30 minutes listen to a podcast. Are you able to take three deep breaths before getting on a call? Are you able to
go outside and look at the sun. So I think that positivity also doesn't want to just say, well, you here are your 10 things for living a happier, better life. It's like with your strengths and your reality, how can you help reshift the focus so you feel more in alignment, even if for that moment. And it's the small things that I think that we do every day that then will build to, I don't know, like who we're becoming and who we're evolving.
Sarah Collins (01:08:58.984)
Mm-hmm.
Sarah Collins (01:09:25.116)
Yeah.
Samantha (01:09:25.238)
can't fix it overnight. think a lot of us maybe come to coaches like I have this problem I needed to change or to fix and it's like, well, there's nothing to fix. But it's a lot about being curious and open.
Bill Dippel (01:09:37.225)
Hmm. Yeah. So good.
Sarah Collins (01:09:37.545)
Yeah. And everyone is changing. You will change. My husband and I were just having this conversation yesterday about how, we think that we can't change people. And I think that's true. I think like we can't change people. People have to change themselves. But whether you are intentional about changing or not, you will change. mean, I think like, you know, we're in we're almost 40 when we look at our moms and dads, my husband and I, we were like, our parents have changed so much. But I think a lot of their changes weren't intentional.
Samantha (01:09:41.994)
Once.
Sarah Collins (01:10:05.072)
Right. was just the natural evolution of time that changed them for better or for worse. And I think that's going to be every person you will be changing. Like the little things you do every day, those little habits are going to add up and make changes in your life. Now you can either just like luck of the draw, see what happens based on whatever, or you can be intentional and make thoughtful decisions about the habits you're going to put in place. So then the changes that you experience when you look back from now to 10 years ago, you can be like, wow, I'm so much better.
Samantha (01:10:10.006)
Yeah.
Sarah Collins (01:10:34.588)
Or you can be like, wow, I am not where I thought I would be. Or I changed in ways I didn't know I would because maybe I wasn't intentional about what those small little everyday habits ended up being.
Bill Dippel (01:10:46.823)
Well, thanks for that, Sarah. Now I just reflected on the last 20 years because I'm almost 60 and some of it was great. Some of those changes are awesome. Some of them.
Sarah Collins (01:10:50.184)
E?
Samantha (01:10:50.636)
There's always time.
Bill Dippel (01:11:00.235)
Well, Samantha, thank you so much for coming on today with that high responsibility and the possibility of burnout. We want to make sure we're not overtaxing you today, right? We want to we want to echo the honesty that you brought with that and being really, really honest with us about how the how positivity looks for you, how it how it is. It works both positively. Forgive the pun on words, but also sometimes in that negative.
And Sarah so smart bring up when you're around the negative people how that plays out and and how you influence others with your relationship themes, even though influencing tends to be lower for you. And so again, just super, super great information today from you about how it is. And thank you so much for being here today.
Samantha (01:11:50.028)
Well thank you both for having me. This was, talk about positivity, fueling and energizing. It recharged me and filled my bucket.
Bill Dippel (01:11:59.199)
Well, I'm going to go take a nap. That's I can't. get too way too much energy today.
Sarah Collins (01:12:04.422)
Not me, gotta jump on a coaching call. Gotta bring it back.
Bill Dippel (01:12:08.257)
I I gotta I gotta go pick up a 13 year old and go play golf. you know.
Sarah Collins (01:12:11.196)
That's right, that's right.
Samantha (01:12:11.724)
All of our realities. See, we're just flowing into the next.
Bill Dippel (01:12:15.029)
We got to do what we're doing today. So all right. Well, Sam, thank you again. We loved having you here. As always, we love producing and having this podcast with all of our arsonists and our listeners. So with that, we want to thank you all for being here and we will say we will talk soon.
Sarah Collins (01:12:33.967)
Bye.